WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
