If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
