Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
