The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
