New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize