I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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