I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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