I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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