My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
