Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
