Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
