Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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