Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
