you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
