Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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