I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
