why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
