i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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