Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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