is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she smelled like a LAN party
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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