she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
