Who wears a wallet chain?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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