How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
