Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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