he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
