Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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