Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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