I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
