hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
