I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
