i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
