I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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