I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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