saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
