And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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