No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
