so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
