I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My ATM looks so different sober.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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