I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
