apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
