We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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