I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
