I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
