yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
