But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
