she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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