shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize