Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
