i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
