He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
