god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
