According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize