she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
