he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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