im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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