There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
