I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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