covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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