I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
