I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can you bring me the toilet please
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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