dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
